Why This Is Hell

The Pub, Sunday, 10.30pm


J: I gorra ya know whatsit for ya, ya know, a one of them jokes

Dr A: What?

J: I made it up, yeah, one of them good ones.

Dr A: Sorry?

J: I tole G it and I phoned up yanno, my friend Dave, yanno, Dave, and -

Dr A [Wearily]: Yeah?

J: I phoned, yanno, I phone yanno my friend Dave up, yeah, and I arsked, my friend Dave, ya, yanno, I arsked him like who sung "It's raining men"?

Dr A: Oh.

J: I arsked im, yanno and, yeah, what, he didn't know.

Dr A: Didn't he?

J: No, he didn't, and yeah, he like said whatchamacallit Gerri, whotsername, ah, no, Gerri Halliwell, and them, whatever, like, whosits, Weathergirls.

Dr A: Oh.

J: No, I arsked him which four men sang "It's raining men"?

Dr A: Okay.

J: I arsked him, d'yanno?

Dr A: What?

J: What four men sang, whotsit, "It's raining men"?

Dr A: I don't know, J-, who sang "It's raining men"?

J: Oh... yeah... I said it's Elton John, George Michael, that like Holly Johnston and yeah him out of Queen.

Dr A: Freddie Mercury?

J: Yeah, him whatisname. Elton John, George Michael, Holly, Holly Johnston and Freddie...

Dr A: ... Mercury.

J: Yeah im that's dead. It's a good one, innit?

Dr A: Er...

J: Cos they're all cream duffs.

Dr A: Oh.

J: It's a good one, innit? George Michael, Holly Johnson, Elton John and ... Freddie...

Dr A: [Pause.] Then there's Tom Robinson.

J: Oh?

Dr A: Tom Robinson. But he's bi these days.

J: Oh, I never knew that, ere, G- did you know that? Yanno, Tom Robinson. "2-4-6-8 Motorway". I wonder if Dave knows that?

Dr A: David Bowie?

J: He kept that quiet, Tom Robinson.