Why This Is Hell

I've never been much of a gardener, and as is traditional, Gardener's Question Time is turned off faster than even sports coverage. Mostly it's been the lack of garden to do it in - and I don't believe in Blue Peter-style lifestyle porn. Someone, sometime, bought me some Stripey Tiger tomato seeds, which I grew in a large pot on my attic kitchen table in the Louis Street flat, and which was planted out when I moved back in with the Aged Ps. It was too late in the summer for them to ripen and so I was left with green tomato, fodder for chutney.

Last year, with a reasonable garden in Henry Court, I created myself a little patch of earth and grew a couple of tomato plants and some brussels. I got a few tomatoes off the tomato plants, but the brussels never quite took.

( It's so deeply true, don't you feel? Tomato soup is so dreadfully eternal. )