"We're here. We're straight. Get used to it"

[faustus]

Peter Mullen, who satirically suggested gays be tattooed:

"Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan sodomy can seriously damage your health and their chins with fellatio kills."

now writes:

"I voted for the Homosexual Reform Act of 1967; and I would vote for it again today. This act specified the decriminalisation of homosexual acts 'between consenting adults in private'... 'Private' means in the bedroom – and neither Hampstead Heath nor public lavatories.

"What I do oppose – on the authority of the Christian faith – is the corrupting influence of the promotional parades of homosexuality by such as Gay Pride demonstrations. And that is what I was satirising.

"It is scandal that some homosexual campaigners have not kept to the letter and spirit of the generous Act of 1967 and instead have consistently and lewdly promoted homosexuality as if it were merely part of the entertainments industry.

"Sex, whether homosexual or heterosexual, is a private matter and it should be kept private."

No, I say, let's liberate heterosexuality from the closet and the bedroom, and promote it in the entertainment industry! Fight for the right to kiss your favoured member of the opposite sex on the street! Let's stop an 18 Certificate from being slapped on any film containing straight people! Let's stop libraries and schools banning books because they feature straight people! Let's have films where it's okay for a cowboy to have a girlfriend! Let's admit we can't do soft furnishings and fashion even though we're men! Stop the police from raiding straight pubs and clubs! Let's report on marriages in newspaper and magazines - let's fill the pages of Hello! with wedding pictures!

Two, four, six, eight - we are here and we are straight!
One, three, five and seven - tumpty tumpty rhymes with heaven!

Edit: I note with some concern that he "numbers many homosexual men and women among my dearest friends" and that he "was delighted to be so warmly welcomed at church last Sunday by the many homosexual people in my congregation." Surely he should condemn them for letting him know that they are homosexual in such a public space - after all it would be corrupting. One would hope his friends were more discreet (and discrete) and weren't parading their sexuality for him to see. Equally, married people should be separated from their children and each other in church (and elsewhere, aside from the bedroom), as heterosexuality is also something he wants to keep private. I wonder he performs weddings?

Edit II: Move along, there's nothing to see: Is the chin visible during fellatio? You can't see your own chin, and you'd have to look up (or down) according to well, yanno... giving or receiving. (On the other hand, if Delany is to believed, it is safe sex (or at least safer sex).)

Comments

[steepholm.livejournal.com]

Lol!