Does being a true friend mean you can't object if you feel you're being taken for granted? Or for that matter they can't object if you take them for granted?
I've got into a situation where I'm thinking about true friendship as one where you do forgive, and understand, and that it's there for the long game even if right now something doesn't come off. And what with people being busy there are so many conflicting demands on all our time so there are scheduling difficulties. Right now I just feel that it's taken for granted that I will understand and that jam tomorrow is fine, because we're in it for the long haul.
But I equally worry that I'm being too needy and demanding, and that is not attractive.
I have a real difficulty with the hierarchy of needs, and I'm all too often at the bottom of my own list, but feel selfish if I put myself further up.
Incidentally I had already said something about being taken for granted to them before I posted last night. That evening they had been placed in a difficult position in terms of deciding between the two bales of hay. (The actual Plan A it's connected to is so insanely trivial as well. But it's the pattern of my not being the bale of hay quite often enough.) At one point it was passed across as being up to me, but that seemed to let them off the hook, and I could certainly see why they would want to do Plan B, even though our Plan A predates it. We'd already gone through a scenario where Plan A would happen but later in the evening, which was a bit annoying but workable, but Plan B got shifted on him and so only a tiny bit of Plan A could happen, and it didn't feel enough.
I suspect this is part of a wider pattern of behaviour on my part anyway. Always the bridesmaid.
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But I equally worry that I'm being too needy and demanding, and that is not attractive.
I have a real difficulty with the hierarchy of needs, and I'm all too often at the bottom of my own list, but feel selfish if I put myself further up.
Incidentally I had already said something about being taken for granted to them before I posted last night. That evening they had been placed in a difficult position in terms of deciding between the two bales of hay. (The actual Plan A it's connected to is so insanely trivial as well. But it's the pattern of my not being the bale of hay quite often enough.) At one point it was passed across as being up to me, but that seemed to let them off the hook, and I could certainly see why they would want to do Plan B, even though our Plan A predates it. We'd already gone through a scenario where Plan A would happen but later in the evening, which was a bit annoying but workable, but Plan B got shifted on him and so only a tiny bit of Plan A could happen, and it didn't feel enough.
I suspect this is part of a wider pattern of behaviour on my part anyway. Always the bridesmaid.